As Maddy approaches her 4th birthday, I've been thinking a lot about how she has changed since she was born, when we first noticed that she was going to have some obstacles and what Matt and I can do to give her all of the opportunities that other parents take for granted. Things like getting her involved in dance, gymnastics or similar "classes" and activities. Or having to keep her under our thumb so she doesn't "run off". Trust has been slow coming.
Potty training has pretty much been a "not interested" experience. Although sometimes she surprises us and will just go - we'll have no idea where she went and she'll come out of the bathroom with the biggest smile on her face.
The other experience is getting her hair cut. The first few times we took her when she was 2 she was just fine. Like "any other kid". But something changed one day and she had a major meltdown when I took her to get her hair cut. I was in disbelief about what had happened. The next few times, our friend Jessica came to our house to cut her hair. I had to hold Maddy tight as she cried and kicked because she didn't want her hair cut. It broke my heart. But it hurt her for me to do her hair because it is curly and gets tangled. I figured it was best to get this over with instead of fighting every morning to get the knots out of her hair.
After a few times of that, I bought scissors and did it myself - while she was taking a bath. It would take me 2-3 days to get it all done and a few bribes of chocolate, Popsicles or suckers. But it was manageable and looked a little bit better.
Well, at Christmas, I told Maddy it was time to cut her hair and she asked for Jessica. She asked! I couldn't believe it. Then she asked to go to the salon where Jessica works. I thought this would be too good to be true. First I asked Jessica if she wanted to even try it. Jessica said of course so I made an appointment. Maddy asked every day for a week if this was the day we were going to Jessica's. When the day finally came, there was no fight, no argument. We got to the salon and had to wait a bit. I let her explore (without being in the way, I hope) to ease any anxiety. I'm sure I was more anxious. Her time came, she sat right up in the chair and let Jessica cut her hair. She was a little wiggly but that was mostly when the hair fell on her (she wouldn't wear a cape). I couldn't believe it. Was this my Maddy! My beautiful baby girl with curly hair who has so much to overcome already in her young life? It was. And I realized we can check off overcoming a haircut from our list. A little thing, but to us it was a huge victory.
I'm reading a lot now about sensory processing disorders and I truly think that Maddy has some sensory obstacles. Hair cutting is a big one. She needs to experience physical and auditory things 10 times more than anyone else does. 10 times louder, or softer, 10 times harder or lighter.
Preschool has been wonderful for her. She is very social. She always has been, but now in more appropriate ways (although she has to learn boundaries). Her speech is great, just a little behind. Fine motor skills have never been an issue. She knows the difference between letters and numbers (recognizes and can tell us numbers still working on letter names), knows shapes and usually remembers colors. She is able to spend time in the "regular" preschool classroom for bits of time during her school day.
I am so proud of her. She makes me smile and laugh all of the time with the things she comes up with. Charming, beautiful, loving, independent. Definetly not autistic, but she does need help in this life right now. But I am not worried. She is going to do great things. Maybe even cut hair!
2 comments:
That is SO awesome, I know those battles all too well. I am SO glad that she is making progress and to hear that she is doing so well in preschool. What a blessing for you. Baby steps, this whole process is eye opening our little miracles are capable of so much more than we ever thought in such a short period of time, it just takes love and patience and we all know you have both of those down pat.
Love ya,
Jenn
XOXOXOX
We all have some sort of sensory issue- it just varies from person to person. For example, our household eats green bananas becuase of our texture sensory issues. Unless you bake it in a bread or cake... no way will any of us girls take a bite - take about sensory overload.
You are right that haircuts are a typically overwhelming sensory wise- not that it is also the prep work we do with our children to help them understand what they are expected to do in the situation.
Social stories are also wonderful tools for any child. I personally like to use them with the toddler. It gives the kids a visual of what is expected to occur at a new event or situation that isn't explored regularly.
Now, maybe one day you will stumble upon the secret as to why my children love to be scheduled and have major (seriously major) meltdowns when a schedule is kicked to the curb... I need the secret to that one.
Ang
P.S Maddy we are very proud of you. Every girl needs to pamper themselves with a day at the salon. Haircuts are simply part of that. Way to go girl you are on the right path.
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